***** View post on imgur.com My friends, I come not to attack or defend John Piper; I come only to celebrate his weird tweets.  After his latest tweet about sexy stones (we’ll get there, oh yes) started riling up the Christian blogosphere, I looked around to see if anyone had put all his strangest tweets

***** Probably the biggest crisis in Christianity right now is that no one has put all the pictures of Adam & Eve together and ranked them according to how hot they are.  But wait, some will say.  Shouldn’t Christians resist judging people based on their physical appearance?  Yes, of course, if you think you might

***** WASHINGTON, DC THE WHITE HOUSE President Trump has called an emergency meeting of Christian figures to help him deal with a pressing issue… [door swings open] JOEL OSTEEN: Blessings! PRESIDENT TRUMP: One question: are Presbyterians Christians? JOEL OSTEEN: sometimes the internet people send me money PRESIDENT TRUMP: I don’t care.  Are Presbyterians Christians? JOEL

Probably the most important issue facing the Church today is masturbation. I was homeschooled for 39 years, so I have no idea what masturbation actually is, but I asked my youth pastor and he said it is something that public school kids do, so I guess it’s like homework, which is another thing I have no

***** Probably the hardest part of marriage is when you get old or something, I actually have no idea, my marriage has been pretty perfect so far.  I don’t, like, believe in struggling and stuff–that’s not my spiritual gift or whatever. But some Christians have bad marriages.  And because this is a think piece, I’ll