Probably the greatest theological tragedy in history is that the church gave up on pickup lines. The current connotation of pickup lines is an awful thing. Say the phrase out loud and you immediately conjure up horrid imagery of sleazeballs wandering aimlessly through a food court throwing puns at every girl they come across, in
THE PREMISE What would happen if there was a 4-team playoff of teams from popular football movies? A more detailed description is likely not necessary; you probably already know if you’re in or out based on that one sentence. This piece will examine the teams, intangibles, and possible outcomes of such a playoff. It will not declare a
A small church building on a service road off the main highway. A congregation of 200; a ministry staff made up mostly of volunteers. Inside the building: a faithful part-time secretary and the church pastor, screen legend HARRISON FORD. ***** The first Tuesday of the month. Deacon’s meeting. The stewards of the modest congregation arrive on
–The Exegeticals have been on the move for weeks. They have tracked the mysterious figure The Shepherd and his cabal of theo-terrorists from California to Tennessee. They have uncovered a wide-ranging conspiracy, implicating various high-profile Christian figures in the process. Now The Exegeticals have tracked the group’s movements to South America, where The Shepherd intends to taint
–The Exegeticals are now all that stands between Christianity and the mysterious figure known as “The Shepherd,” whose sinister plot threatens to bring every church service in America to a screeching halt. TENNESSEE HOSPITAL ROOM The Exegeticals, once again fully recovered, are plotting their next move, when suddenly– (door opens) JAMES DOBSON: Hello, boys. MARK DRISCOLL: (stomps over
–Betrayed by their leader James Dobson, and nearly wiped out by Rick Warren, the remaining Exegeticals have gone rogue. On the run and unsure of who to trust, they make their way to Tennessee. Their first objective: find financial guru Dave Ramsey and discover his link to the shadowy cabal. BRENTWOOD, TENNESSEE Dave Ramsey sits in
COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO Four men walk into a dark conference room, where they have been summoned to meet a mysterious power broker in the gritty theological underworld. Their host slowly turns to face the men. MASKED MAN: You may call me “California Jimmy.” FRANKLIN GRAHAM: Hi James. MARK DRISCOLL: Hi James. MATTHEW VINES: Hi Dr.