***** Hi, I’m Matthew. I’ve written a lot of words about Christian culture in the 90s. This time, though, I think I’ll let the pictures do most of the talking. ***** Just headin’ to the Christian bookstore… Talking to Audio Adrenaline, no big deal… …and getting that poster signed, trick CHURCH QUAKE ’98 CCM ads
***** In the history of SEC football no team has ever lost a game due to play on the field. If your team loses, it is almost always because of outside forces: referees conspiring against you, the league office conspiring against you, the media’s meddling, the other team cheating, or—and this is the big one—God
***** If there’s one thing I learned from being homeschooled, other than history, it’s that homeschoolers are really good at making babies. Nonetheless, the process of finding someone to make babies with can be a stressful time for some homeschoolers. It wasn’t for me, of course, but…you know…it can be for other homeschoolers. Probably the best way for homeschool teens to fall
***** Probably the greatest crisis facing the homeschool movement is that there is no homeschool spring break. ***** Spring break is a thing where public school kids go to the beach and…well…I’m not sure. I was homeschooled for 28 years and the closest I ever got to a spring break beach party was when we drove past the
***** Some churches have Halloween festivals. Other churches take things a step further and put on Haunted Houses, or Hell Houses, or Holy Houses, or whatever. This can be a problem, though. Most Christians are experts in things like grace and fried chicken, not things like horror. Fortunately I am the exception: I was homeschooled
***** Probably the most important part of Christianity is going to Halloween Festivals at church that don’t use the word “Halloween.” This is because Halloween is supposedly the devil’s day, but that’s crap because everyone knows the devil’s day is Monday, but whatever. Anyway, this is where Harvest Festivals and Fall Festivals and Trunk-or-Treats come from.
***** Probably the greatest crisis facing Christianity right now is that we don’t have an alternative to Hooters. ***** I have never been in a Hooters, as I was homeschooled until the age of 32, but I have known several Baptists in my day, and Baptists are allowed to go into Hooters, as long as they
***** I recently opined on Twitter that Donald Trump would be the greatest youth pastor ever, except for maybe Eric from Boy Meets World. The concept of Trump serving as a youth pastor spurred some good Twitter feedback, so I decided to go down the list and see how The Donald would do in the various